School's in session.

(What can I say...I'm a slow learner)

by Melissa

Every year at this time I get very nostalgic about the past school years and how big my children are getting and how I can't believe how fast time flies...etc. etc. etc.

Sure, I took them back to school shopping for supplies and we got new shoes AND the dreaded 1st day of school outfit.  My husband made sure we had a celebratory danish for breakfast that morning and we got them up, instead of their alarm clocks. I watched my kids do their usual things and I followed them around the house and did "Mom" things (which I'm sure they find annoying and I wonder how they are ever going to live without me).

They needed me SO much less. They needed less prodding and were super grateful for all the effort I put into their back-to-school experience. We talked. (Did I mention I have boys?)

There was still some silences as they watched Youtube and ate breakfast but when it came time to take those 1st day of school pictures, NO resistance (other than the obvious aversion to summer ending and school beginning). They smiled, they put their arms around each other, they even recreated a photo we take every year that LAST year we nearly had WWIII over.

Okay...who are these kids?

Something shifted. We turned a corner.

So many people have talked to me about the dreaded :"8th Grade Change," Which being the worrier that I am, caused real dread sending my oldest to school.  And the 4th grader is officially a big kid now, because he is in the "Intermediate" portion of his elementary school, otherwise known as the beginning of the end! Stages of life, measured by milestones that the outside world gives us, to let us know that they are marching towards becoming adults, to moving out, and growing up.

Don't get me wrong I'm still a master worrier! I keep the exterior calm and control the clammy hands and damp eyes. I play all calm cool and collected to their faces but inside I'm a WRECK!  And usually, they are right there with me, with a thousand questions and a tiny bit of panic in their very dilated pupils. But NOT this year.

I saw instead a bit of calm and a bit of excitement. WHAT!?

And I have been asking myself what and where could this have come from?

So I asked them.

And they answered.

Oldest child:

“I figured that since I can't do anything to change what is coming, I'm just going to make the best of it and try not to think about it.”

Youngest child:

“I don't like school but at least I got the teacher that I wanted and that's an ok way to start off.”

Now, I'm paraphrasing a little, but the jist is that they are...

living in the moment and taking it as it comes.

OH MY GOD! The mantra that I repeat to myself (ad nauseum, if I must admit) so I don't have a stroke from trying to control my universe, has been picked up by my children!! AND then I had my own "teachable" moment. I lead by example. I know everybody KNOWS this, it's in EVERY single parent blog, book and article. But seriously until you have had that actual moment where you see it take shape and hear your ideals coming out of their mouths...it's a VERY powerful thing. Like I said I'm a SLOW learner.

I feel I need to clarify something. First, I know they are listening and regurgitating our words and ideas. When they are little most of what you do they are just “trying it on” and seeing if it fits them. Then they pick and choose what they can relate to and comprehend.
Second, I have had plenty of moments where I have had to hear my own words come back to haunt me, that is a very different entity...one that sometimes doesn't feel so good. Those times are ones where you wish you had a time machine or a "magic eraser" for the toddler mind, for example, that has absorbed your very colorful way of letting the driver behind you in a pick up line know how you feel about their driving. That's leading by example too, and for the longest time it seems like that's all they pick up...all the DUMB stuff you habitually say and do.

Until this year, the year we turned a corner.

The year I got "schooled."

Ok..CRAP!
I figure I have a tiny window left with the oldest and a marginal window left with the youngest to squeeze in some more ideals and habits that will be helpful before they fully realize just how slow I am!

Please feel free to share with us your "aha" moment and how your kids might have "schooled" you.